I was out for a run yesterday on the bike path at the Forks of the Thames when a Red Winged Blackbird swooped down and nailed me on the top of my head. He got me with both feet and pecked me with his beak. The little bugger nearly drew blood. After the attack he flew into a bush and squawked at me. It sounded like HAAA HAAA HA HA HA!!!!

  I kind of felt like Hunter S. Thompson when he drove to Las Vegas in his convertible and was attacked by giant bats.

  Contrary to some of my friend's accusations I did not wet my head and dip it bird seed prior to running, nor was I suffering from dehydration and imagined the entire event!

  

Fashion Rules for Runners

  

Today I went for a run wearing my wife beater shirt (I don't like t-shirt tans). I am still learning the rules of running fashion. Here is what I know so far:

1. If you are older than 21 years, wear a shirt.
   
2. If you wear $7 Walmart track pants while running in the winter you will get condescending looks from other runners who are wearing $300 running outfits.
   
3. The guy at the running store said he wouldn't be caught dead wearing orange or lime green running shoes.
   
4. I went shopping for running shorts and noticed they are all really long. They go down to just above the knee cap.  (my nickname this summer will probably be "white thigh")
   
5. Really short running shorts that are made of shiny satin like material and slit up the side to reveal your ass as you run in the wind are not cool. If fact they are kind of creepy.

  I know that rule #1 is a hard one. The idea of working on your tan and running at the same time is really tempting but its just too obnoxious. There are a couple of exceptions to this rule. If you are in super good shape, maybe you can do this, the younger you are the more likely you can pull it off.   You can also get away with running along the beach with no shirt. You don't even have to be in shape. 

  Women get special treatment when it comes to running fashion. Rule numbers 1 and 5 don't apply to them at all. I have noticed many women running with just a sports bra and short shiny material shorts. This is not only acceptable but in my mind encouraged. 

  The wife beater shirt may be a violation but that is a chance I am going to take to avoid a t-shirt tan. My understanding of running fashion is a 'work in progress'.  Wish me luck.

Trees, not as friendly as they seem

  I am suspicious of trees. I run past them every day. 

  A couple of weelks ago I was running down the sidewalk and went underneath a tree. A branch grabbed the toque right off my head. By chance a pick up truck containing a couple of construction workers drove by at that exact moment. The passenger climbed half out the window to yell a huge "HA HA". It sound almost exactly like Nelson from The Simpsons. I waved him the peace sign and continued on my way. 

  Today I was out running again and had another encounter. I was running past a tree with a broken branch. It grabbed the sleeve of my shirt hard enough to rip it and bring me to a stop. I stood there looking at my ripped shirt and looking at the tree. The tree didn't care. It almost looked happy about what it had done.

I am starting to wonder if  they resent me running everywhere while they have to stand still.  I will definetly be keeping my eye on them in the future.